(J, a young person, at a desk, typing away enthusiastically at an invisible computer while addressing the letter to the audience.)
Dear Mr. Reagan,
Greetings from the present! You don’t know me, and to be honest, I don’t really know all that much about you. I know you were President of the United States for two terms in the 1980s, and that you were a Governor before that, and an actor before that. Impressive. I know you were shot one time but that you survived. Impressive. I know that you had a whole system of economics named after you – “Reaganomics” – which is really impressive. Very cool. The new guy has a cool name like that, too, but we’re not sure it’s gonna stick like “Reaganomics” did. We’ll see.
I think you are very important not just because you were President and they named something cool after you, but because you symbolize – that word took me a long time to come up with, but I like it – you symbolize a great divide. Allow me to explain.
I was born when you were President – towards the end, yeah, but it still counts – but I didn’t really know who you were because I was a baby and we had other Presidents after a while. When I did learn about you, it was from Mr. Heitmann, my history teacher. Mr. Heitmann was one of my favorite teachers and I still think probably ranks in my top five – maybe top three. He was very cool because he taught us to think for ourselves – very important – but also because he was very different. I would find out later that he was what we might call a “Communist” – he never said it out loud, but I’m pretty sure he was. He did funny things like celebrate the birthday of “Lenin,” I think it was – don’t know if you ever met him – and talk about how he was teaching his kids to hate Disney. I thought that was silly. I mean, who hates Disney?! What would they ever do to anyone?
Anywho, he taught us about you: President Ronald Reagan. Now, don’t take this personally, because I really like Mr. Heitmann – and his wife, Dr. Barrett – and I don’t want you to be upset with him; but he didn’t like you very much. In fact, I’m pretty sure he thought you were kinda stupid. He kept bringing up Star Wars and how you talked about having a real Star Wars war program or something – very strange. He didn’t go into much more details but yeah, he was not a fan. “Reaganomics” did not impress him.
So that was that and I said to myself, “Okay, Ronald Reagan: not so hot.” But then, I had to leave that school and do some homeschool instead with these DVDs from a place called “Abeka.” They were pretty cool because they were like a real classroom but there was a camera so you could see the teacher and the board and all that and real students, too. It was fun for a while but eventually it got boring and I tried passing notes to the other kids in class…funny, right? Because they were on DVD.
Anyways, Abeka was a Christian program – which was cool, because we’re Christians, too, my family and I – and I kind of figured out that they did things a little bit differently than my old school – and not just because they were on DVD. This was really obvious when I got to my US History class with Mr. McBride. I really liked Mr. McBride and always wished I could’ve met him for real – he was really funny. In fact, I liked him almost as much as I liked Mr. Heitmann, but see he – Mr. McBride – thought you, Mr. Reagan, were really, really great. He talked about what a great leader you were and how much good you did for the country and not once did he bring up Star Wars. It was like he was talking about a totally different person!
I thought that was really weird, and I started to ask myself: what was Mr. Reagan really like? And why did two smart guys like Mr. Heitmann and Mr. McBride tell such different stories? What’s the deal?
Well, I didn’t really get an answer for a long time, even though I heard you talked about a lot. Some people, like Mr. Heitmann, really don’t like you – in fact, there’s this one guy, Tony, whose stuff I read a lot, and he hates you. You’re like the Emperor Palpatine in his little universe: really evil (I threw that Star Wars thing in there in case you do like Star Wars). In fact, a lot of my friends are kind of the same way. They say you did some pretty bad stuff to our country and that you ignored a lot of people who were hurting and that Reaganomics was a load of bullstuff. Sorry. I know that’s really tough to hear sometimes.
But hey, some people still really like you! In fact, I had a guy in my speech class one time who said you were the greatest President ever. Speaking of speeches, most people say you were really good at those – probably all that acting made you really good at it. I know some people don’t like Reaganomics but some people do like it. And I know you did a lot of stuff for people overseas, like with this one Wall and all that. That’s pretty good, right? And hey, you were elected President twice! Not everyone gets to do that, and be a Governor, and be an actor!
I guess what I’m trying to say is that people see things differently sometimes – in fact, people see people differently sometimes. Amazing, huh? It’s like they’re looking at the exact same person but see someone totally different. Sometimes I feel like that: like I’m looking at something one way and someone is looking at it and seeing something totally different. Sometimes one person is looking at something one way, someone else is looking at it another way, and I’m looking it another way, only mine is, like, down the middle! Sometimes I feel like I’m the one being looked at: some people see me as, maybe, red, and some people as, maybe, blue. Right? I bet you feel like that sometimes. It’s weird, huh?
You know, red and blue made me think of “Right Wing” and “Left Wing” just now. People say that a lot, don’t they? “Right Wing” and “Left Wing.” Maybe I’m stupid, but I don’t get it. Don’t you have to have both wings to fly? And what about the body in the middle? If we were all a bird, I’d be in the middle, like in the eyes or the heart or something. Let all the other people flap, I say! Wow, that’s silly – now we’re all just one big bird! Oh, me.
Well, Mr. Reagan, on that note, I must say goodnight. I know you probably won’t get this, wherever you are, but maybe you can see it. And maybe we’ll talk someday. I hope so: I’d love to know which Mr. Reagan is the real Mr. Reagan, so to speak. Ha ha!
Sincerely,
-J
P.S. What if when we die, we become birds? Just a thought.